::FM vs EBM::

hi blog..
miss 2 jot s'thing 'bout "heart&feeling"..
n for 2day, i need 2 tell u bout my dreams n wishes dat been spurned by Allah=(..
but i know Allah, there's so many rainbows dat u'll b showering me then..
so, how hard it is, i'm still thanx 2 u, Allah..

it's all 'bout BREASTFEEDING..
i've been breastfeed dhia since she was born n alhamdulillah, she's manage for her healthy w'out failed..
dhia xkene dmm kuning n xpnh skt hgga ke saat ni *thanx Allah*..
but wat was frustrated me is......she's no longer prefering her mom's milk!!
why dear??is it because of me??or any other things dat may disturbing u for having my milk my dear dhia??

dhia freshly got her EBM juz till she was 2months old..
but she still look famished after having my milk=(..
xtau la ape sbenarnye yg m'buatkan dhia mcm tu..
nk kate xpuas, mama pny susu ms tu byk sgt..sampai bsh2 bj..*sedih bl pk*
tp xpe, sy berserah..
n end it up when everyone in da home keep pushing me 2 gave her FM..

dhia 1st FM till now

hati ibu mana yg x menangis kan??

b4 ni happy sgt dgr dhia burp bl kenyang mnm susu mama..

tp Allah lbh mengetahui apa yg t'baik tk kita..

sy terima..

starting from dat, i juz keep trying 2 gave her my milk, but she refused..

only got it for 'bout 2-3min n she already throw her tantrums after dat='(..

my strong mission was not end juz like dat..i keep on trying 4 giving her my milk by pumping..

thanx 4 my Annakku Breastpump..even it was not-an-expensive-ever-breastpump, but it help me a lot!!even for an ounce of milk=)

i filled dhia with my BM using bottle, how pity dat i was rite??

xdpt nk peluk, cium, rase hangat bdn dia dlm dakapan..

tp sy ttp bersyukur, Allah msh bg peluang tu pd kami..even dgn hny suapkan bottle pd dhia..

sekali lg Allah menguji dgn "kemewahan" air susu sy menjadi "miskin"..

my milk production was totally low n utk dptkan 4oz itu sgt mustahil..dpt bayangkan mcm mn luluhnya hati sy??

sblm ni, hny ambk ms sekitar 10-15min utk dptkan 4oz milk tk dhia..tp kali ni, dlm jangka masa itu, 1oz pon blm tentu dpt..

*msh memikirkan apa lg dugaan Allah pd ms tu*

hasil dr pencarian dan bacaan dr net, sy tahu..milk production sy sgt rndh disebabkan tiadanya rangsangan dari bayi..

kdg2, dgn hny "pumping", klg susu mngkn tdk kuat utk menghasilkan susu yg lbh berbanding rangsangan isapan dr bayi..

sedih kan??

tp skali lg sy redha..

 mcm2 mama cr info psl breastfeed dlm net..dan itulah rutin mama bl online dhia..

dan mcm2 jgak andaian mama pd ms tu..

at last, sy teruskan usaha mengambil pil utk m'byk n memekatkan susu..

mungkin jg dhia xpuas sbb susu sy cair..

n hasilnya agak memberangsangkan bl susu mkn pkt..

tp..

tp knape makin sedikit??

sy terkilan..dan hmpr b'pts asa..

sy xsalahkan ubat tu..dan sy xsalahkan Allah..

seme ni dugaan buat sy..

for those who really don't know how struggle dat i was for breastfed my baby, please don't argue why i am feeding her with formula milk..

please don't keep on blaming "br 4bln??np xbg susu bdn je??.."

please don't asking "btl ke dh cuba bagi tp dia xnk???"

please, please n pleaseeeeee

i am begging ALL of you..

because i've tried so HARD for giving da best for my baby..

dan sy akur, mmg kita merancang, tapi Allah yg menentukan..

sy bersyukur kerana Allah msh sayangkan sy..

Dia berikan kesihatan pd Dhia..

Dia berikan kebijaksanaan pd Dhia..

apa lg yg sy harapkan dr Maha Pencipta sy??

Sesungguhnya Allah, Kau Maha segalanya..

Thanx 4 chosing me Allah..

dan sy kembali gembira di saat ini..

Kau begitu sempurna..